These past few days have been rough for me. Lilly developed a little cold on Wednesday and -you know- I'm in my third trimester. It's a recipe for disaster. Wednesday was ok. Thankfully, Ben was off and shouldered the load for me. I woke up feeling unrested and achy (and emotional) so I was achy and crying most of the day. (On a side note: I don't know how you single mamas do it. God bless each and every one of you. I would lose my mind.) Thursday I woke up ready to tackle the day and feeling confident that I could deal with the ungodly creature that is a sick two year old. My patience held for the morning (we went to the park) but began to fade at nap time (or lack there of). By the time Ben came home I was feeling a little slap happy.
And then there's today. You know how in the hulk movies Bruce Banner always says "You're making me angry! And you don't want to see me angry." That was me today. A crazy pregnant lady and a sick toddler are not a good match. I satiated the rage monster with a grande frappuccino (judge me) and have spent a lot of time praying and meditating on this bit of advice from Jordan May you see what lies ahead as obedience to the master – not a sacrifice to what you thought would be your life – for in obedience we see the beauty of who we are to truly be.
Part of the problem is that some days (like today) my ambition gets the best of me. There are so many things I want to do with my time, with this space, with my knitting, with my house and my life- but I am a mother first. I need to put my ambition aside (at least until nap time) and love my daughter the way she needs to be loved. I need to remember that when the kids are grown and I am left with an empty nest I will long for these days (right?).
Anyway- here are some cute pictures from the park. Thanks for letting me get all that off my chest.
ps- these gardenias smelled so amazing that I just about dug up the whole bush and brought it home. Too bad plant theft is discouraged in today's society.