Truth telling time. On Friday, my internet will be disconnected. The cable company is coming to pick up their equipment and I will be virtually in the dark. (see what I did there?)
We have some debt we are attacking head on and to do so we are eliminating any unnecessary spending. That includes internet. I'm not sure what that will mean for Prairie Hen. I still have so many ideas, thoughts and experiences to share. And I have other ways to access the internet. I still have my phone for cryin' out loud! My goal is to continue blogging regularly- I will just have to be a lot more intentional about my hows and whens. And because I can't guarantee how much I will be frequenting this space I have removed my sponsorship program. I can't, in good conscience, accept money from others when I don't know how much exposure they will get.
The timing seems pretty craptacular but I am choosing to trust God. He is fanning the flame in my soul and this blogging platform has been such a great place to learn, connect and grow with you all! My heart is tempted to be scared. To feel like this has all been a waste and is meaningless in real life but I know God is working here and with me and I refuse to give those lies any weight.
In my church community group the other night we were joking around about weird Christian stuff. Like when asking for prayer requests and someone replies with "unspoken". DID YOU EVER DO THAT!? I did. Let's really think about it for a minute. We are coming together as a group of believers and followers of Christ. Trying to grow deeper in our relationship with him and with each other in him. We have a need or circumstance that we want to trust God to carry or fix BUT WE DON'T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW ABOUT IT! What?!? Isn't that kind of the opposite of the whole purpose of getting together and praying for each other? Vulnerability. Accountability. Faith. Truth! It really doesn't make sense.
My point in saying the above is that, if I could, I would like to ask for your prayers. Please pray for peace in my heart. My selfishness is having a hard time handing the reigns of my internets over to God. My unreasonable fear is telling me that I will never blog again and that I will be alone. (ridiculous, I know). Pray for persistence for my family. We are choosing to do what is best for us and not what is most fun, or easiest, or even normal! But mostly pray that I can learn to trust God fully with all of my stuff (even the internet).
Now that I have got all of that off my chest, I will probably end up blogging every day for the rest of forever and this whole post will be needless. Fingers crossed.
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That is such an amazing desicion and God is going to honor that. My family and I have eliminated a lot of stuff in our life to attack our debt too. Yes, it's hard because we wanna spend or have fun with friends. But, I know that in the long run, I will be able to be a HUGE blessing to others once I am financially free. Are you familiar with Dave Ramsey? We use his methods for "financial peace." He says, "Live like no one else so one day you can LIVE like no one else."
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ReplyDeleteSending positive vibes your way m'dear. There is reasoning behind everything even though most times we have no idea what it is. This too will work itself out! I will admit I'm glad to hear you won't be leaving the blogging world. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing - it takes guts to be specific rather than stick with "unspoken!" I will definitely pray for you. It sounds like a wise decision for your family, too, so take some comfort and confidence in that.
ReplyDeletegreat post sara. there have been a few times when X and I have considered disconnecting our internet too! ah! youre braver than I!
ReplyDeleteI imagine that can't have been an easy decision to make but good on you for making the right move and for being so honest about it! I really do believe that everything happens for a reason, even if you can't see it at the time.
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