Crying, Bibles and Booze. Oh my!

via 

Last week was challenging. "Challenging" was a nice way of putting it. It was really more like ugly crying on the couch in sweats while feeding a fussy baby and wondering what that smell is just to realize that it's you because you haven't showered in days. Oh yes- and there is a naked toddler running around screaming at the top of her lungs to hide because the alligators are coming to get you. That was the jist of last week. I spent an unhealthy amount of time fantasizing about mixing whipped cream vodka into my morning coffee.

By Saturday (Ben worked the weekend) I was exhausted and discouraged. All jokes aside- Lilly and I had been battling over boundaries all week and Rosie was being a fussy eater and I was over it. I was mad at the world. Miraculously, I managed to get both girls down for a nap at the same time (what the what?!)  and turned to see my devotional journal sitting on the table (oh). I milled around for a few minutes ignoring my journal before sitting down. I told God that I was mad at Him for not cutting me a break and that I didn't want to spend time with Him. But I did anyway. And this was how my devotional started: God made you to flourish and to inexhaustibly thrive. He spiritually designed you for emotional and spiritual abundance in every season of your life. His plan was never that you would be shriveled up emotionally and trampled upon by anger and depression and worry. 

Cue the ugly cry. 

But then I felt refreshed. I realize that may not make sense. I re-read the above and thought that some may think that God was mocking me! You feel crappy so let me tell you that you shouldn't! Ha. But that wasn't how I felt at all. I felt understood. I felt like He was telling me that it doesn't have to be this way. That I don't have to feel run down and full of negative emotions. It isn't part of His plan for my life. I am still learning how to control my emotions instead of letting them control me. You are more then how you feel friends. Don't let yourself get you down. You can rise about your circumstances and have joy that passes understanding.

I need to trust Him and lean on Him because when I try to do it all by myself... I put holes in the wall. I guess I need to learn this lesson every day. Thankfully, He is always willing to meet me no matter how I'm feeling... or smelling.

♥

ps- In case you're wondering I'm doing this devo on the You Version app.
double ps- I think that comic is funny! If you happen to be a parent that doesn't let their kids watch TV- good for you! You win a gold medal in the momlympics. I didn't even qualify for the no television category.